Photograph by: Reuters , Postmedia News via the Vancouver Sun
To the Hon Minister of Public Safety Vic Toews
Somewhere in the back woods of Alberta
Hey Vic. Hope you are having a nice summer vacation. You must be quite busy with the dock or something, so this Omar Khadr thing is going to have to wait. Anyway, the Americans have him all locked up safe and sound until you get around to it. Maybe after Labour Day. Or Thanksgiving. You are the Minister for Public Fucking Safety, after all. Its your decision.
So this Khadr guy's lawyers claim Canada had a deal to take him and put him in a Canadian prison. But it wasn't real for keeps deal. It was more like a suggestion. A proposal. A trial balloon. Not in any way a commitment. The Americans don't really want him to leave, they just have to say that. They love him. He's the only jihadi in Guantanamo who's ever up for a party. The rest just lay around whining.
Besides, the guy is a fucking terrorist! The Minister of Public Fucking Safety doesn't let terrorists into Canada. The Minister if Public Fucking Safety keeps terrorists OUT of Canada. He's not really a Canadian anyway. His parents were fake Canadians. That makes him a fake Canadian too. So he was a child soldier. So he was tortured. So the evidence against him is full of holes. So fucking what? He must be guilty of something. The Americans say so. You don't end up in Guantanamo for skipping Sunday School.
So, its your decision. But you have to be careful. You can't risk Khadr escaping from a Canadian prison, or getting sprung by some idiot judge. In 10 minutes, he'll be massacring American Combat Medics all over the Eaton's Center. We all know he's got hand grenades. Harper would ream your ass so hard you'd have shit come out your nose.
No Vic. Stick to your guns and keep at that dock, or whatever. There's no hurry. Its not like Khadr is going anywhere. To tell the truth, we don't want him back anyway. So many problems. So many complications. Can't anything ever be simple? But you know, there's all that information you need to study before making a decision. Years and years of transcripts to go over! Trials, and interrogations, and intelligence and background and lots of other stuff too! It could take a long time. A very long time.